Margie update Feb. 22, 2010

Dear friends and family of Marjorie Henshaw:

As you all know, Margie is in the midst of a drug trial. In a few weeks, the doctor will be able to measure whether the experimental treatment has affected the spread of her cancer. In the meantime, Margie finds her energy and her pain levels are not predictable. The treatments are taking a toll. Much as she would like to make social plans, she expressed (to me=Ceci) that it is hard to tell if she will have the spirit to really do what she says, "yes" to.

She told me that she does not want to plan very far ahead, and she does not want to commit to any car trips. Of course, driving around Santa Barbara is no problem, but she feels that longer day trips have taken too much out of her in the past weeks. She likes having friends and family join her for lunch or dinner either at Vista del Monte or going out, but being a hostess feels hard. Even with family, she prefers not to have more than a couple of us staying at one time.

Our loving Margie Henshaw has trouble saying, "No" to invitations or visits from friends and loved ones, so do be aware that she may be working to be her energetic and loving self (whom most of us know her as!). May I ask that, when you invite her out or suggest a visit, you please help her take a moment to think about what she wants to do. I find it effective to ask her to take a breath and check in with her body and her energy before she decides. I tell her it's okay, completely okay, if she would rather rest or not make a date. If we do this, we are more likely to get an honest answer, and one that is truly best for her.

love,

Ceci

February 10th - Hi from Margie

Ceci and Margie are together for just a few days.

Margie says, "I don't approve of children (e.g., Ceci) who come and visit and leave! They should stick around forever!"

Ceci says, "sorry. any time with my mommy is precious!"

Jane Freund knitted two beautiful mufflers and brought them by while Ceci was in town. Wow!

When we called to thank her, Ron told us she was already in bed. Margie feels she should be in bed early like Jane to get up and start the day much earlier. Meanwhile, Ceci and Margie planned to make it to a documentary that Tonia and the rest of the East Beach Walkers were going to yesterday, but we arrived too late to get in. Nevertheless, we were so happy to see Tom, Bill, Bob and Tonia and get lots of hugs! Missing you all. Hope the movie was a blast.

Margie especially loved hearing messages from Betty Henshaw, and she was delighted to be here and actually pick up the phone for a call all the way from Australia from her very beloved friends Fred and Cheryl!

Mike was over last night to practice penny whistle with Ceci. Both are amateurs but love it. The three of us had dinner out at the Empress Palace, good Chinese and right nearby.

Margie is getting worn out by all the treatments and maybe by the cancer itself, but she is always in good spirits. She enjoys visits with her kids and grandkids. She had an eventful road trip with Steve up to Mendocino a couple of weeks back, right through torrential rains. Included were visits with friends (Lois Roberts) and family (Ellie Edmund) along the way.

Just a couple of weeks before that, Margie loved seeing far flung friends and family at a combination Joe Ford memorial and Ford family reunion at Heritage Square in LA.

Ceci plans to be back again in Santa Barbara in a few weeks and again at her semester break (March 27-April something or other). Donna will be with her then too, which means fun and also having a personal RN for Margie.

Steve and Margie are still putting the finishing touches on Margie's travel memoir. Margie's helper for driving, household stuff, shopping etc, Micheline, is also reading the manuscript aloud with Margie to look for final typos. It turns out that Micheline also lived in the Middle East! What we learn when we share time and tales with one another.

Well, we (Ceci and Margie) need to take a walk just to get air and circulation. I (Ceci) will try to post more often.

Margie loves getting your calls, even if she doesn't always get back to you with a call.

Cheers from sunny Santa Barbara (not so sunny the past few days, but very bright today)!